


My Guide To Giving Up on Life :)

by Birdy_f (orphan_account)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Male Character, Everyone Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Genderfluid Loki (Marvel), I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Musical References, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Trans Peter Parker, Twitter, YouTube, dont know anything about the american ways, i'm basically doing this instead of exam revision
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 10,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21824458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Birdy_f
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Brunnhilde | Valkyrie & Loki & Thor, Bruce Banner/Thor, Brunnhilde | Valkyrie/Carol Danvers, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Laura Barton, Happy Hogan & May Parker & Peter Parker & Pepper Potts & Tony Stark, Happy Hogan/May Parker (Spider-Man), James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Loki & Thor (Marvel), Michelle Jones & Harley Keener & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker & Shuri & Loki, Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker, Pepper Potts/Natasha Romanov, Peter Parker & Tony Stark & Stephen Strange, Scott Lang/Hope Van Dyne, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange, Wanda Maximoff & Avengers Team, Wanda Maximoff & Vision, Wanda Maximoff/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Character intro

Name: Olivia-Maria Williams-Black

Nicknames: Olivia, Liv, Livy, Temple’s Weirdo

Age: 18

Sex: Female

Sexuality: Bisexual

Preferred pronouns: She/Her

Physical appearance:

  * Eyes: Coffee brown
  * Nose: Button
  * Hair colour: Dark brown
  * Hair length: Short, shoulder length when straight, just below ear length when curly
  * Hair style: Naturally curly, hard to tame, always in a low bun
  * Skin tone: Olive
  * Mouth: Pouted lips
  * Teeth: Straight, white, one snaggle tooth that shows when smiling
  * Body: Ectomorph



How do they feel about their appearance: Confident, but feels dislike towards her flat chest

Height: 5 foot 1 ½ 

Weight: 110 pounds

Class: Middle class

Ethnicity: British

Family: 

  * Mum: Vanessa Black (44)
  * Dad: Sam Black (45)
  * Sister: Antoinette Black (8)
  * Brother: Blaise Black (26)
  * Pets: Nova (Golden Retriever; Guide Dog)



Childhood experience:

  * Friends: Lilith Moore (16), no longer friends; Charlie Lewis (14), no longer friends; Abby Thompson (16), still talk despite Liv moving to America with her grandparents
  * Lifestyle: Moved in with her nan (Margret Williams) and grandad (Gary Williams) after her mum gave her up, her mum was on drugs, her sister died in a car crash that killed her and her dad, her big brother moved away to university but comes down every Christmas, birthday and tries to take time off in summer
  * Education: Studies well, does not answer a lot of questions, sits in the library a lot, gets to leave the class whenever
  * Interests: Football, gymnastics, dance (mainly hip-hop, jazz, tap and ballet)



Intelligence level: IQ is 123

Attitudes: Normally quiet, very observant, snarky, finds it easy to cover up her emotions, independent, does not like others helping her, sarcastic, sassy, uses logic against others, has a lot of blackmail on others, knows she is invisible to others, caring, protective, loyal, good at keeping secrets, anti-social, when stuff get too much she becomes argumentative, distrusting, ADHD, easily distracted, talks a lot to herself, fidgety, poor time management, always running late

Current relationships:

  * Mum: She holds no resentment to her mum, nor any hatred, and hopes that her mum would quit both drugs and get help. She knows that her mum is grieving as is Olivia and her brother. Mum is caring but she lost all respect Liv had for her when she gave Liv up to her nan. Liv was thirteen when she moved out
  * Dad: Despite being dead, Liv talks a lot about him. When he was alive, he was caring, loyal, trusting, funny, a horrible cook, and a great baker. Olivia visits his grave whenever she can. Olivia was eleven when he died
  * Sister: Liv was never close to her but they did talk a lot when they got grounded, She was younger than Liv and was very out-going; the opposite of Liv. Olivia was eleven when she died
  * Brother: Liv talks a lot to him over facetime and skype, he and Liv see each other every Christmas and most birthdays. They were really close as kids, he was only eight years older than her but they were super close, still are. They love pranking each other, baking together and binge watching movies
  * Romantic partners: Wanda Maximoff (20) has been with her for a year and a half. They met during the “Civil War” when Liv offered to hide them out in her treehouse for the night because they “Look like y'all need a good night's sleep”. They continued to talk over the period of them going into hiding and she and Wanda grew really close. Wanda was with Vision at the time but they broke up and stayed friends whilst Liv and Wanda got together. They foster a puppy together. Wanda brought her horse riding lessons for her birthday and learnt to tap dance for her. She learnt to play football and how to cook for her
  * Friends: Peter Parker (17), Harley Keener (18), Ned Leeds (17), Loki Odinson (17 in Earth years), Michelle Jones (17)
  * Other family: Her Mum was an only child



Religious background: Non-religious, Atheist

Occupation: Assistant to Pepper Potts and Student at Midtown High and part time waitress

Relationship with the headteacher: Doesn't talk to her but says hello and is polite

Relationship with the teachers: Likes the substitute and drama teacher over the others, has extra English lessons instead of doing Geography and doesn't take languages. Miss Rosser (English) is the nicest teacher whilst Mr Rose (Mather) and herself have a mutual hatred for each other

Relationship with the students: Unnoticeable to most apart from Ned, Michelle, Peter and Harley

Relationship with the boss(both of them): Talks in any language that they challenge her with to them, jokes whilst on the job

Relationship with co-workers: Gets along, jokes a lot, group chat with them

Hobbies: After school football (Monday, Wednesday), dance (Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday; every other week), gymnastics (Saturday)

Introvert or extrovert: Introvert

Pessimist or optimist: Pessimist

Thinking or feeling: Thinks but feels for her close friends, but is cold/untrusting of others

Forgiving or Remembering: Remembering

Proud of: How she does not let words get to her, intelligence, creativity, her friends

Ashamed of: Her mums’ attitude, her ADHA, how quickly she can change as a person, how she acts around strangers

Fears: she fears spiders, storms, crowded spaces, the dark, choking, throwing up (gagging) and blood 

Sense of humour: Wit, dark jokes, sarcasm and mimicry

Most interesting thing about this character: Always bounces back after hitting her low

Sense of fashion: Comfortable and stylish

Makeup or bare face: Subtle makeup

Types of clothes: 

  * Jeans:
    * Skinny
    * Boyfriend
    * Distressed
    * Mom
    * High waisted
  * Overalls/jumpsuits:
    * Tight fitted
    * Short and frilly
    * Strapless
    * Short
    * Long
    * Open back
    * Dungarees 
  * Tops:
    * Jersey (belongs to Luke Elliot)
    * Turtleneck
    * Blouse
    * Tube top
    * Crop top
    * Vest top
    * V-neck top
    * U-neck top
    * Flowy
    * Semi see-through
  * Skirts:
    * Pencil
    * A-line
    * Tube
    * Slit
    * Mini
    * Tulip
    * Denim
    * Bodycon
  * Dresses:
    * Bodycon
    * Wrap
    * Empire waist
    * Halter
    * Mini
    * Denim
    * Spaghetti
    * Maxi
    * Slip
    * Party 
    * Little black dress
  * Jackets/coats:
    * Boomer
    * Denim
    * Drape
    * Leather
    * Frack
    * Rape
    * Pea 
  * Hoodies/sweaters: 
    * Zipped
    * Pullover
    * Gymnastics sweater
    * Turtleneck sweater
  * Shoes:
    * Knee high
    * Wellies
    * Ugg's
    * Wedges
    * Kitten heels
    * Chelsea boots
    * Converse
    * Vans
    * Slip on
    * Ballet pumps
    * Mary jane
    * Army boots
    * Flip flop
    * Peep toe heels
    * Lita
    * T-strap heels
  * Swimwear:
    * Retro bikini
    * Boy shorts
    * Strapless
    * Cut-out
    * cross-over
  * Underwear:
    * Thong
    * Hipster
    * Cheeky
    * High-cut
    * G-string
    * Brazilian
  * Bras:
    * Corset
    * Bralette
    * Sports bra
    * T-shirt bra
    * Plunge
    * Push up




	2. Q&A, Vlog #138

The camera opens up to Olivia Williams-Black sitting at her desk in her bedroom, her dark grey walls looking surprisingly bright as the lights from the camera shines her way.

“Hi guys, it’s me, Liv, back at ya with another video.” She waves at the camera and shuffles in her seat. “So, as you all know, I’ve officially moved into the B-Tech version of the Titan’s Tower.”

An outraged gasp is heard from behind the camera. “We are better than the Titan’s. Come on, Livvy. You should know this.”

“Okay, my apologies. As you all know by now, I have moved in with the Avengers; more importantly, the Young Avengers that now stay at Stark Towers. If you haven't seen my last video than let me catch you up to speed. So, now that I have being outed in a very rude way by a very homophobic boomer, I have had to move in with my girlfriend, Wanda Maximoff. In my last video, I asked you all for video requests and some of you said to do: A Q&A about life here at ST, so here it is with me, Olivia Williams and my close friends Peter Parker, Harley Keener and Michelle Jones. Let’s begin”

The screen cut to a black page, the words: Vlog #183, Stark Tower Q&A, ft. PP, MJ and HK. It faded out with soft piano music to reveal three teens and a young adult curled up of one large leather sofa, matching Avenger hoodies and pyjama bottoms, drowning the smaller boy more so than the others.

“So, guys. These are my loser friends. MJ, Peter and Harley,” Olivia pointed to each of them before turning her attention to the camera as a glass bowl full of paper got handed to her from behind the camera.

“How this works is we will each take turns answering questions as well as picking them out of this glass bowl. Who goes first is up to our cameraman.” At this moment, a gloved finger points to MJ who shrugs and pulls out a thin and typed up question on bright yellow paper.

“Who lives at SI? Well, mysterious person who sent this to Williams’ vlog, it’s called Stark Tower, ST for short, and it depends on what day of the week. Sometimes we stay here, sometimes the lab directors and scientists stay here. I’d say roughly thirty to forty five people.” Liv nods and MJ rips up the slip whilst Peter takes one.

“Is it true the Rouges live at the Tower?” Peter shifts unconsciously closer to MJ and rests his hand against hers out of view of the camera. “Yes and no. It’s complicated. After a ton of therapy and talking on both their behalves, the Rogues decided it best to give Mr Stark distance. Once they were sure Mr Stark was okay and better, they slowly moved back in. But they all have their own homes, too.”

Liv nodded before taking over. “Me and Wanda actually live back in my home town all the way across the British Isles in a small town in Mersea as well as having a place at my nan's. Steve, Bucky and Sam have their own apartment in Brooklyn and Natasha is mysterious in the way that we never see her unless she wants us to.” Liv paused before picking out a slip of paper, passing the bowl to Harley seeing as he was last in their little row.

“Who works at SI? Again, it’s ST, renamed and rebranded as a mix of both the Avengers Tower and Stark Industries. It depends on your job and skill range. We have Avengers working here, head scientists and lab directors, interns and trainees plus the receptionists and helpers.”

“The helpers do an amazing job of helping to find people of skill and talent,” Peter interrupted Liv, a shy smile gracing his baby face.

“Do yall see Tony Stark as ST? Finally, someone got it right! And yes, we do. Here at ST, all workers can have special one on one meetings with both him and Pepper to suggest ideas that may need to have an extended time range or maybe different equipment. He comes down four times every two weeks.” Harley smiled at Liv who read the next question

“Does anyone think of the Rogues as bad people?” There was hesitation to the question, the answer halting on the tip of her tongue before Liv continued “No, here at ST, we do not judge based on past experiences and mistakes. We accept and grow. Whilst some days get tough, we are all human at the end of the day and we move forward with both victory and mistake on our tails.”

She passed the bowl with two slips of paper left to Peter and MJ, a careful smile on her face as Peter read his aloud. 

“Can any of the Avengers or Rouges lift Thor's hammer?”

Peter pondered the question before shrugging. “Steve and Thor are the only two we know of, Spider-Man can’t because of his inability to kill and Black Widow refuses to find out. The other Avengers are a for sure, big no-no but you never know, maybe someday it will change.”

MJ reads out the last question; “Does Stark seek help from Hammer or Osborn with tech advice?” She raises an unamused eyebrow at the camera, Harley turned red from holding in his laughter, failing just as badly as Peter and Liv. “Funny. No, is the answer you are looking for. Osborn does not deal with tech as much as bio weaponry and Snarky Stark just hates Hammer and Hammer hates him just as much. Wakanda is a great help with Princess Shuri supplying what she can to our labs. In short, no, we don't deal with Hammer nor Osborn”

Halfway through MJ’s rant, Liv and the two boys lost it and we soon wheezing with red faces and aching sides. They each took a collective second to calm down before Liv started her outro.

“So, guys. That’s all we have for you today special thanks to these three teens for coming up to Steve’s house and another special thanks to the best bottom around, Mr Steven Rogers.” The camera flipped to reveal Steve Rogers (AKA Captain Fucking America) in all his embarrassed glory who waved at the camera with an awkward smile, the sound of the four younger people filling in the quiet room.

“Thanks for watching, please like and subscribe to my channel and comment below what you want to see next, toddle-loo from your favourite crumpet.” She signed off in the most British accent she could muster through her laughter, the clip depending on her face buried into Peter’s shoulder.


	3. What's my name?

Twitter names:

Wanda: Bubbles @witchbitch  
Liv: GARY GOLDSTEIN @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch  
Nat: Death fears me @BlackWidow_Official  
Pepper: Tony Babysitter #1 @VPP  
Michelle: BLACK RIGHTS @M_Jones  
Shuri: im librarian @BowToTheCrownBitch  
Carol: first avenger @ Captain_Marvel  
Val: lesbian queen @Valkaryire  
Hope: buzz buzz FUCK OFF @The_Offical_Wasp  
May: Momma Parker @M.Parker  
Laura: Why are you on the fridge @Laura Winterford  
Tony: A dramatic little bitch @i_am_ironman  
Steve: mom_friend @steve_Rogers_CA  
Sam: i put the bi in bird @falcon  
Bucky: i need plums @white_wolf  
Bruce: Hulk induced anxiety @Rober_Bruce_Banner  
Thor: The Mighty Thor @Thor.Of.Asgard  
Loki: JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! @mxloki  
Peter: *faints because of a handshake* @Parker_Peter  
Harley: potatoes at the ready @H.Kenner  
Clint: eye in the sky @clinton_hawkeye_barton  
Vision: downgraded siri @Vision  
Ned: hacker voice *im in* @Edward_Leeds  
Flash: In a FLASH @Flash_gotta_dash  
Stephen: Blossom @Dr_Stephen_Strange  
T’Challa: King T’Challa @KingOfWakanda  
Wade: Chimichangas @DP_Official  
Scott: what the hell is a hufflepuff @Scottie_Antman_Lang  
Happy: Tony’s babysitter #2 @Forehead-of_security  
Rhodey: Tony’s babysitter #3 @iron_patriot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every time you forget who is who, please refer back to this :)


	4. Emotions? Ha, no thanks.

**Peter with a Bee @Parker_Peter**

someone give me a 5 letter word for disappointment

**Bubbles @witchbitch**

would wanda be suttiable

**PIgFARtS! @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

hes looking for disappointment. u r a disaster. big difference

**i put the bi in bird @falcon**

so bucky’s name would fit

**mom_friend @steve_Rogers_CA**

Stop it.

**mom_friend @steve_Rogers_CA**

My name would fit.

* * *

**snarky stark @i_am_ironman**

i think im dying

**Death fears me @BlackWidow_Official**

So is the planet, you aren't special

* * *

**Buttercup @mxloki**

wow. i think im actually dying of boredom

**lesbian queen @Valkaryire**

get in line, laky

* * *

**PIgFARtS! @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

what are we doing

**potatoes at the ready @H.Kenner**

slowly dying

**Buttercup @mxloki**

wasting our lives

**hacker voice *im in* @Edward_Leeds**

Regretting our life choices

**PIgFARtS! @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

i was on about lunch guys. i just didn't finish writing before i tweeted. what is wrong with you people

* * *

**what the hell is a hufflepuff @Scottie_Antman_Lang**

im lost @The_Offical_Wasp

**buzz buzz FUCK OFF @The_Offical_Wasp**

Scott?

**what the hell is a hufflepuff @Scottie_Antman_Lang**

can you show me the way to your heart

* * *

**Blossom @Dr_Stephen_Strange**

All I wanted was a weekend to myself. 

**Tony Babysitter #1 @VPP**

Welcome to my world.

**Dead inside @Alex_Lilywhite**

Anyone else confused?

**Beep beep bitch @Star.Moore**

yep

**Blossom @Dr_Stephen_Strange**

I got stuck with a sick tony complaining down the phone until I would turn up at his with ice cream and waffles

**Blossom @Dr_Stephen_Strange**

He didn't even eat them!

* * *

**Peter with a Bee @Parker_Peter**

:(

**im librarian @BowToTheCrownBitch**

turn that frown upside down

**Peter with a Bee @Parker_Peter**

):

**im librarian @BowToTheCrownBitch**

listen here you little shit

**im librarian @BowToTheCrownBitch**

turn that fucking frown upside fucking down!

**Peter with a Bee @Parker_Peter**

:) better? bitch

* * *

**first avenger @Captain_Marvel**

@Parker_Peter we are staging an intervention

**Peter with a Bee @Parker_Peter**

we?

**first avenger @Captain_Marvel**

@M.Parker & @i_am_ironman & @VPP and of course the almighty Cap  @steve_Rogers_CA

**Peter with a Bee @Parker_Peter**

What's the tea sis

**May Parker <3 @M.Parker**

This is why we are staging it.

**snarky stark @i_am_ironman**

Ever since you started using twitter, you’ve been hard to understand

**Peter with a Bee @Parker_Peter**

but im a precious cinnamon roll. i cant do anything wrong. im baby uwu

**snarky stark @i_am_ironman**

You are doing everything wrong now!

**potatoes at the ready @H.Kenner**

let him finish. @Peter_Parker continue

* * *

**eye in the sky @clinton_hawkeye_barton**

What is a king without his queen @Laura Winterford

**Why are you on the fridge @Laura Winterford**

Someone without someone to keep them in line

**Peter with a Bee @Parker_Peter**

Hey @M_Jones what is Juliet without her Romeo?

**BLACK RIGHTS @M_Jones**

Fucking alive

**Peter with a Bee @Parker_Peter**

@clinton_hawkeye_barton we arent very good with this romantic talk

**eye in the sky @clinton_hawkeye_barton**

You’re telling me kid

* * *

**In a FLASH @Flash_gotta_dash**

ever just wanna push someone down the stairs? asking for a friend

**BLACK RIGHTS @M_Jones**

Oi Eugene, do us all a favour and do as your name says. Be gone in a flash!

* * *

**PIgFARtS! @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

Movie room in five @Scottie_Antman_Lang

**what the hell is a hufflepuff @Scottie_Antman_Lang**

I've got red vines 

**PIgFARtS! @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

Yas Bitch! YAS

* * *

**im librarian @BowToTheCrownBitch**

daily reminder that @KingOfWakanda once got stuck in a box for 20 mins :)

* * *

**Peter with a Bee @Parker_Peter**

hahahah.

**Tony’s babysitter #2 @Forehead-of_security**

Kid? You okay?

**hacker voice *im in* @Edward_Leeds**

hahah

**May Parker <3 @M.Parker**

Peter? Ned?

**Peter with a Bee @Parker_Peter**

Hahahahahahaha

**hacker voice *im in* @Edward_Leeds**

hahahahahahahahahahahah

**Bubbles @witchbitch**

Hahahahahha

**snarky stark @i_am_ironman**

Is this a cult thing?

**PIgFARtS! @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

hahhahahaha

**BLACK RIGHTS @M_Jones**

Hahahahahahaha

**i put the bi in bird @falcon**

What the fuck is going on

**im librarian @BowToTheCrownBitch**

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**Buttercup @mxloki**

HAHAHAH

**The Mighty Thor @Thor.Of.Asgard**

Brother?

**potatoes at the ready @H.Kenner**

Hahahahahaha!

**In a FLASH @Flash_gotta_dash**

hahaha

**PIgFARtS! @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

and you had to fucking ruin it @Flash_gotta_dash

**PIgFARtS! @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

I will boil your bones if you interrupt us again

**In a FLASH @Flash_gotta_dash**

:) sorry not sorry

**Hulk induced anxiety @Rober_Bruce_Banner**

Anyone else fearing for their lives?

**King T’Challa @KingOfWakanda**

Everyday of my life.


	5. The Slap, the bitch and the newest tweet

**I promise I am alive @Dead.inside**

Anyone else wondering who @Laura Winterford is?

**And PEGGY @PeggySmith**

Yeah. Who is @Laura Winterford

**Insufferable Husbands @Ellie_Kelly**

what i wanna know is how she knows the avengers

**I promise I am alive @Dead.inside**

@clinton_hawkeye_barton we want answers

**eye in the sky @clinton_hawkeye_barton**

Laura is nobody to anyone who doesn't know her

**I promise I am alive @Dead.inside**

The hell does that mean?

**Why are you on the fridge @Laura Winterford**

Just tell them Clint

**eye in the sky @clinton_hawkeye_barton**

She is my wife. 

**And PEGGY @PeggySmith**

Than why don't y’all share the Barton last name?

**Why are you on the fridge @Laura Winterford**

Would any of you believe me if I said I was married to an avenger? Didn't think so.

**eye in the sky @clinton_hawkeye_barton**

You’ve got your answers now leave her alone!

* * *

**downgraded siri @Vision**

I do believe Clint doesn't know my name

**Peter with a Bee @Parker_Peter**

huh

**downgraded siri @Vision**

He calls me a toaster, a radiator, a downgraded siri, a red alexa as well as an ipad and once he looked me up and down and called me baby Ultron. I do believe he doesn't know my name.

* * *

**Buttercup @mxloki**

i have recently finished the harry potter books and all i can say is ouch. my heart is hurting

**potatoes at the ready @H.Kenner**

what houses do u think the avengers are

**Buttercup @mxloki**

My brother and Rogers belong in Gryffindor, Stark and Romanoff in Slytherin, Barton in Hufflepuff and Banner is in Ravenclaw.

**PIgFARtS! @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

Parker is both a Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, brainy and adorable. Wanda is a born snek.

**Bubbles @witchbitch**

Snek?

**PIgFARtS! @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

yes. a snek

**i need plums @white_wolf**

I feel like sam is a Hufflepuff

**i put the bi in bird @falcon**

And i feel like you are a slimy slytherin bastard

**i need plums @white_wolf**

You’re not wrong :/

**PIgFARtS! @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

wbu loki? Snek or not?

**Buttercup @mxloki**

I’m just a bitch :)

* * *

**Jake The Hero @fullboylebabe**

We all need a Boyle in our lives.

**BLACK RIGHTS @M_Jones**

@Parker_Peter @Edward_Leeds

**Peter with a Bee @Parker_Peter**

everyone deserves a friend like boyle. MJ’s scary like rosa but ned is loyal like boyle :D

* * *

**Peter with a Bee @Parker_Peter**

the big STRESS of school is getting to me

**PIgFARtS! @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

rt! the other day i was crying 

**May Parker <3 @M.Parker**

Crying? Are you guys sad? Is school really this bad?

**PIgFARtS! @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

we just dumb mumma parker

**Momma Parker <3 @M.Parker**

Dumb?

**potatoes at the ready @H.Kenner**

yes……..dumb

**Peter with a Bee @Parker_Peter**

big dumb :)

* * *

**Have y’all seen that ass @FalconisTHICC**

Daily reminder that the falcon has a thicc behind

**AMERICA! FUCK YEAH @AMERICAS_ASS**

But it ain't america’s ass.

* * *

**im librarian @BowToTheCrownBitch**

I forgot to update my status on The Slap!

**Peter with a Bee @Parker_Peter**

ah shit same!

**im librarian @BowToTheCrownBitch**

Princess Shuri Udaku: they did surgery on a grape

Feeling: YEEHAW and HAPPY

**Peter with a Bee @Parker_Peter**

Peter Benjamin Parker: saw someone tweet a dead meme

Feeling: grossed out

* * *

**A dramatic little bitch @i_am_ironman**

@Parker_Peter change my name back you little shit

***faints because of a handshake* @Parker_Peter**

@i_am_ironman only when you change mine back

***faints because of a handshake* @Parker_Peter**

@i_am_ironman this happened months ago why wont you drop it?!

***faints because of a handshake* @Parker_Peter**

@i_am_ironman and in all fairness I did just meet @Thor.Of.Asgard

**A dramatic little bitch @i_am_ironman**

@Parker_Peter what’s your obsession with @Thor.Of.Asgard 

***faints because of a handshake* @Parker_Peter**

@i_am_ironman uhhh??? He’s a literal god you utter idiot?!

**A dramatic little bitch @i_am_ironman**

@Parker_Peter but I’m Iron Man

***faints because of a handshake* @Parker_Peter**

@i_am_ironman WOW! REALLY?!

**A dramatic little bitch @i_am_ironman**

@Parker_Peter that’s it you’re grounded. 

***faints because of a handshake* @Parker_Peter**

You’re not my dad :/

**A dramatic little bitch @i_am_ironman**

I beg to differ

***faints because of a handshake* @Parker_Peter**

Than B E G ya bitch


	6. Tour of my house, Vlog #142

The camera opens up to a baby blue backdrop with Olivia Williams-Black sitting on a large black stool and Wanda at her side. Both girls are in matching elephant onesies and distant barking can be heard. Both the girls wave before the intro music starts.

“Hi guys, what's up, it’s ya girl, Liv, back at ya with another video.” She flashes a peace sign at the camera and shuffles in her seat. “So, I have been asked to do a tour of where I live and since I travelled all the way back to England, I decided to show you folks at home what my little beachside Mersea home looks like."

Wanda clears her voice and the camera shifts slightly to focus on her. "Grab a bowl of popcorn, open a can of soda or whatever you guys drink; and enjoy the video. It's about to begin.”

“Okay, Wanda, my love? That sounded like the cinema voice that read out: So sit down, turn off your phones, and be quiet....it's about to begin.” Both girls chuckle and the camera fades out.

The screen cut to a black page, the words: Tour of my house, Vlog #142. It faded out with soft piano music to reveal Liv holding the camera to face her. Her hair was in a low ponytail with strands pointing out and her outfit was swapped out to be black jeans and a large yellow hoodie with the words: Wanda's Bitch, printed on the front. 

“So, guys. If I'm going to give you all the grand tour of my home, we may as well start in the fort room, the hallway." The camera flips around to reveal a short stretched corridor painted in a soft cream on it’s walls. The flooring was oak wood and a quiet melody of Girls Aloud was playing from the kitchen. “So, as you can see we like neutral colours, just wait until you see the other rooms it’s like the polar opposite of this.” 

She points the walls that are decorated in rows of pictures. An old timey photo in black and white show a short girl with a slightly older man with a scruffy beard. They are both wearing fishing hats and overalls of some dark shade with white tops underneath. 

“That’s me and my dad. We were eight in this one and I can remember losing my tooth after falling onto a rock that day. I didn't catch any fish though, it was pretty disappointing.” The camera flips to reveal her face and she offers a small smile before her eyes light up.

“Okay, guys. This is possibly my favourite picture of me and Wanda.” She flips the camera to reveal a wall hanging photo of Wanda and Liv in the snow. Purple goo like substance covers them from head to and they are both in shorts and matching vest-tops with Team Cap written in bold blue letters.

“So this was from our Winter Prank War last year. I was obviously on Team Cap and we lost. Like big time. So, Peter and Stark decided to paint us all in goo. Clint chose the colour and this is the result. Me and Wanda were in the final battle though. We stuck it out.”

“That goo took weeks to come out of my hair,” Wanda’s voice travels from the kitchen, which is where Liv leads them next.

“So, this is my kitchen. It’s pretty tiny compared to what you were expecting but,” she moves the camera in a three-sixty style that reveals black floor tiles and red painted walls, the counter’s and draws in a majestic white whilst reflecting the sparkly black floor. A large clock in digital red digits blinks brightly from above the oven. “This is perfect for us, considering there is only three of us here.”

Barking is heard again, this time louder, so Wanda and Liv follow it to a baby pink painted dining room where a large golden retriever sat on a circular dining table, a flower pot tipped over onto the floor.

“This, baby girl, is Nova.” At her name, Nova barks at the camera. “Wanda, babes. Sort her out.” She flips the camera to face herself; an unamused eyebrows raised and her lips pressed tightly together. “I was going to show you what my dining room looked like but I guess you can see already. But most of the furniture in here belonged to my nan and grandad before they decided to give it to me.

She points to a mini fridge covered in magnets. “Nana and Grandad used to travel and collect magnets when they were younger. They made it into a challenge to see who could get the most ridiculous ones.” Liv picks up two magnets holding hands. “But this one is my favourite.

It’s a magnet that reads: You Are The Eggs To My Bacon, and beneath the words is a picture of bacon and eggs holding hands. “They went to Colchester when they found this one,” she gets up and walks away after sorting out the plant pot. “Colchester's just a fifteen minute drive from where we live, we go there a lot if we want to have a day out.”

The video continues on for five minutes; she shows the tiny bathroom beneath the stairs and sits in the tub, she shows the black painted living room and collapses beside Wanda on a cream leather sofa before a blue pillow hits her face. 

Her next stop was the garden, probably one of the largest places in the whole house. Vast green fields with a flower field in the distant. She shows off the vegetable patch and the flower beds before getting chased by a bee.

“I hate bees. They are my natural enemy. I swear they’re out for me.” Liv shudders and walks into Wanda who’s in black sweatpants and a cropped hoodie matching in colour. “Hey, baby. I’m gonna show the folks at home our room, wanna tag along?”

“Let’s go.” She grabs Liv’s hand and takes the lead, walking through the kitchen and into the hallway before heading up the stairs.

“When I first moved in here with Liv,” Wanda starts off. “She told me this house was haunted. “In the guestroom, there were twenty china dolls. Like old fashioned, Victorian style dolls with big glass eyes.” Liv snickers and smiles sheepishly. 

“She made it her mission to scare me to death On my first night here, she placed all the dolls around me whilst I was asleep so I woke up to be watched by twenty dolls.”

By now, Liv was laughing. “She screamed the house down and slept on the sofa for three weeks until she was sure she wouldn't be killed by dolls.”

“But you didn't stop there, did you? No. You moved them around the house. She put one of them in the car and another in the fucking breadbin!”

“It twas but a joke, my love. Besides you’re still here. Alive and breathing.”

“I could murder you some days though.” Wanda muttered darkly with a light smile as she pushed open the doors to reveal a large bedroom.

The back wall was lime green, the other three walls a chocolate brown with green accents. She had light laminate flooring, a small and simple chandelier hanging from the ceiling and her doors painted a dark brown. The bay window was dark brown, with different shades of green cushions littering the seat and lime green curtains left closed. They had two dark wooden bedside tables with lamps sat on top, with green lampshades. Her large king sized bed still sat in the centre of the room, the dark leather headboard against the back wall, contrasting against the lime green. Brown bedding and a simple quilt set made up her bed, with green and brown cushions on the floor beside the bed, where they had been removed. That was the only furniture in the room, since they had a walk in closet and therefore wouldn't need a chest of drawers or wardrobe.

“So, this is my bedroom. It’s not much but it’s my favourite room in the house. The colours were my choice and the bed was Wanda’s.”

Maximoff bounced over to the bed and jumped onto it, bell first and giggled with a slight oof. “I chose the bed because look!” She pointed at the end of the bed with a black remote in her hand. She pressed a button and slowly but surely, a large TV showed with a large screen and SKY TV guide waiting to be used. 

“She chose the bed with a TV because my girlfriend loves to be lazy and eat ice cream in bed whilst watching the telly.” Liv rolled her eyes but climbed beside Wanda and rested her head on the older girl’s shoulder. “So guys, I believe this is it from us since the only other rooms would be the guest room that is under some serious TLC and our bathroom. I might do another one of these when we get back to America but for now I’m gonna soak up the sunless British weather and relax on a really stony beach.

“Thanks for watching, please like and subscribe to my channel and comment below what you want to see next, toodle-loo from your favourite crumpet.”


	7. A day in the Avengers Tower, Vlog #146

The video opens up to reveal Peter and May Parker taking picture of Tony crying into Stephen’s shoulder. Loki is seen arguing with Thor and Bucky is napping in Sam’s lap while Steve plays with Bucky’s hair between two nimble fingers. 

The camera pans around to show Wanda and Natasha having a staring competition whilst, in all the chaos, Liv holds the camera. Harley walks into the room, stunned to silence, looks up at the camera in a style that can only be referred to as The Office Stare, before walking out.

The screen pauses and shrinks to reveal Shuri and Liv sitting on a grey fur bed. 

“So, hi guys. Today’s video is a little strange seeing as I won’t actually be filming this and it’s more of Keeping Up with The Kardashians and The Office kind of video at Stark’s request. So, sit back and enjoy the video edited helpfully by Shuri.” The princess waves before the title to the video shows and the clip begins.

“Peter I swear to fucking God if you don't get off the celling this instant…!” Tony is heard yelling from the kitchen before the camera zooms in on Peter and Shuri standing on the ceiling.

The clip pauses and reveals Shuri and Peter sitting side by side in a completely white room, their names appear on screen. “So, me and Shuri asked Spider-Man how he walks on the ceiling,” Peter opens with.

“And he said it’s because he got bit.” Shuri cuts in.

“And so we got to thinking, what if we made our own boots? And it worked!” Peter and Shuri high five before the screen changes back to the pair on the ceiling.

“But Mr Stark! Nano boots!” Peter did a show of jumping up and down, giving Tony what seemed to be a heart attack. “Shuri helped make them!”

“And? You’ll get track marks on the ceiling! Shuri, I will call your mother! Peter for god sake please don't make me get Aunt Hottie!”

“Please don’t call May that, I think it’s gross.”

The camera changes to a different scene, one of the whole gang minus Thor, Val and Loki, eating lunch. 

“So, guys. I heard back from Loki and they said that they can’t make it to dinner next week and neither can Thor.” Natasha says, sipping from her OJ whilst Carol and Steve (the only two listening) nod.

“New Asgard still as busy as ever?”

“It’s a fish fest, Cap. Can’t be that exciting.” Tony butts in, ending with Stephen slapping at his chest.

“Behave yourself.”

The camera pauses and zooms out to be a scene of Tony in his lab, covered in grease with metal in his hair. “Gimme one sec,” he hold up a finger whilst finishing melting something with something off screen before he faces the camera.

“I stand by what I said. Thor’s new place is a fish fest, it stinks. Stephen just doesn't understand it since he obviously has no sense of smell.” He pauses and rubs a hand down his face. “I mean honestly, it fucking stinks.”

The scene flips back to lunch. “My apologies, darling.” Tony mutters reluctantly but it seemed good enough for Stephen so the matter dropped.

A loud crash and a scream could be heard off scene, the camera and the Avengers having their attention pulled from lunch to see Harley and Peter ran out of the hallway and fall into one another in the kitchen.

“What was that?” Tony asked, protective dad mode engaged as he helped Harley off the floor, May helping Peter whilst checking for any bruising.

“What was what?”

“That crash? Your scream?” Steve put his hand on his hips, his face completely annoyed at their dodging of questions.

“It’s not life threatening.” Peter replied, wiping dust from his hair.

“It came from Harley’s room, what was it?” Tony began walking ahead, the camera, Steve and the two boys not far behind. “Friday, be a doll and pen Harley’s room.”

The door opened at the same time Peter muttered: “You’re on your own,” and Tony screamed: “What the fuck!” Harley’s bedroom looked like a bomb had gone off, his clothes were everywhere, his comic books and maths book was somehow on the ceiling. His wardrobe was lying flat on the floor with the doors on either side of the room; broken off its hinges. 

“I can explain?” Harley weakly muttered and the screen froze and revealed Harley and Peter in the white room, shuffling and looking put out.

“So, Harley asked me to tidy his room. I thought it would be easy,” Peter glares at Harley who looks elsewhere. “This kid has got some serious cleaning issues. I thought I was bad but Jesus man, your room looks like a bombsite.”

“It’s not that bad.” A pregnant pause and the camera zoom out further to reveal Tony sitting beside Harley; his eyebrow raised and a smirk planted on his face. “Okay, it’s bad.”

“Worse than bad.”

The screen filters back to the bedroom where Peter is explaining what happened. “And basically, Harley asked me to lift up his wardrobe and he started shoving stuff under it and I lost my grip and almost crushed him. Almost! I saved him. It crashed we screamed. He started running so I chased him and well…” Peter shrugs and gestures to the messy room before knocking his hand against Tony’s. 

“I’m really sorry, Mr Stark.”

“Not your fault, kid. Harley,” at the call of his name, Harley spun on his foot and stared at Tony; accepting his fate. “Clean up this mess before I come back.” Tony pointed at both of the boys, Harley sulking whilst Peter looked like he was about to cry. “If it’s not done, no lab, no staying here. Kenner that means no Young Avengers, Parker that means no internship. Clear?”

“Yes.” The boys replied in unison, leaving behind a very Happy Tony and concerned Steve.

The camera scene changes to focus on Liv sitting beside the pool in a dark blue spaghetti strap dress, her feet in the pool. 

“Hey, stranger. What’s got you down in the blues?” Clint walks in with dark purple swim trunks on. He settles beside Liv, concern rolling off him in waves.

“My brother’s stuck in hospital. He got in an accident and well, I’m worried. It’s just brought back flashbacks to my daddy and baby sister.” Liv sniffled, wiping tears away before being wrapped up in a hug by Clint. “I can’t have him dying on me. I need him.” She’s quietly sobbing whilst burying her face in Clint’s bare shoulder. 

“You smell like Kinder Eggs.” They both chuckle before the air grown sober with emotion again. “It’s his birthday in three weeks. I don’t know if he’s going to be stuck in hospital for his birthday, I don’t want that for him. It’s not fair.” She signs before snuggling closer to Clint.

“Have you told Wanda? What has she got to say about all this?”

“She doesn't know. I can’t tell her, I’m scared.” 

The screen pauses and changes to Liv being in her bedroom, her hair tied back into a wet ponytail whilst her makeup runs down her face. “He punched me in the pool to cheer me up.”

The scene floats back to Liv and Clint sitting side by side where he, sure enough, pushed her in and jumps after her. 

The scene jumps to be showing Loki and Peter in the library whilst Shuri can be seen in the background. 

“She loves chocolate, oh and her fav flowers are forget me nots. She told me that one.” 

Shuri bounces over and settles beside Peter. “What we talking about?”

“Loki is trying to cheer up Liv since she seems sad but won’t tell us why so we thought about getting her something sweet.” Loki blushes at this before shoving Peter lightly.

“Spider-Boy speaks the truth. Something is wrong with Olivia and I’m worried.”

The screen pauses and shrinks to sit in the corner, revealing Loki sitting in the white room that Peter and Shuri had been in before. “I have some feelings, I’m not a monster.”

The scene flashes forward to where Loki, Peter and Shuri are each holding gifts. Peter with Forget me nots, Shuri with a large teddy-bear and Loki with three bars of Hershey's chocolate and Kinder Buenos. They each walk up to Liv who is sitting with Wanda.

“Ahem.” Liv turns to see the camera and the troublesome three before grabbing Wanda’s hand in a reassuring squeeze. “You looked sad earlier so Peter, Shuri and I decided to get you some pick me ups.” The trio hand Liv the small gifts before waving goodbye to escape the waterworks that sure enough started.

Wanda looked into Liv’s eyes with nothing but pure love and happiness before whispering: “Everything will be okay, my flower.”

The screen fades and reveals Liv sitting in her room with Wanda’s head in her lap. “So, thank you very much for watching this. As I said to Wanda earlier, this has been one hell of a day. I hope you enjoyed this, if you did give it a big thumbs up and hit the subscribe button and that notification bell so you know when new content it going up. Hope this was good enough for your taste. Adios from your fav crumpet.” Liv and Wanda hold up peace signs before the screen turns black and the video ends.


	8. Merry Christmas Folks

‘‘Twas the bright before Xmas

and all through the tower

not a creature was stirring 

not even Bruce Banner

The agent’s were alseep

tucked up in their beds

whilst visions of Budapest played through their heads  
  


Steve was without his shield

and Clint was in his nest

and I was powering down 

for a short winters rest

But a ruckus sounded from above

so I got into my suit

to see Thor on the roof

He laughed a mean laugh

his hair flying around him

whilst eight barrels of beer, or was it ale, maybe it was mead

oh never mind all you need to know is I woke up with a bad hangover and a fake moustache

-MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL YOU BOUS AND GIRLS LOVE TONY AND THE AVENGERS IN THE TOWER🥰


	9. Nano Boots Bitch, Vlog #196

The video opens up to reveal Peter and May Parker taking picture of Tony crying into Stephen’s shoulder. Loki is seen arguing with Thor and Bucky is napping in Sam’s lap while Steve plays with Bucky’s hair between two nimble fingers. 

The camera pans around to show Wanda and Natasha having a staring competition whilst, in all the chaos, Liv holds the camera. Harley walks into the room, stunned to silence, looks up at the camera in a style that can only be referred to as The Office Stare, before walking out.

The screen pauses and shrinks to reveal Shuri and Liv sitting on a grey fur bed. 

“So, hi guys. Today’s video is a little strange seeing as I won’t actually be filming this and it’s more of Keeping Up with The Kardashians and The Office kind of video at Stark’s request. So, sit back and enjoy the video edited helpfully by Shuri.” The princess waves before the title to the video shows and the clip begins.

“Peter I swear to fucking God if you don't get off the celling this instant…!” Tony is heard yelling from the kitchen before the camera zooms in on Peter and Shuri standing on the ceiling.

The clip pauses and reveals Shuri and Peter sitting side by side in a completely white room, their names appear on screen. “So, me and Shuri asked Spider-Man how he walks on the ceiling,” Peter opens with.

“And he said it’s because he got bit.” Shuri cuts in.

“And so we got to thinking, what if we made our own boots? And it worked!” Peter and Shuri high five before the screen changes back to the pair on the ceiling.

“But Mr Stark! Nano boots!” Peter did a show of jumping up and down, giving Tony what seemed to be a heart attack. “Shuri helped make them!”

“And? You’ll get track marks on the ceiling! Shuri, I will call your mother! Peter for god sake please don't make me get Aunt Hottie!”

“Please don’t call May that, I think it’s gross.”

The camera changes to a different scene, one of the whole gang minus Thor, Val and Loki, eating lunch. 

“So, guys. I heard back from Loki and they said that they can’t make it to dinner next week and neither can Thor.” Natasha says, sipping from her OJ whilst Carol and Steve (the only two listening) nod.

“New Asgard still as busy as ever?”

“It’s a fish fest, Cap. Can’t be that exciting.” Tony butts in, ending with Stephen slapping at his chest.

“Behave yourself.”

The camera pauses and zooms out to be a scene of Tony in his lab, covered in grease with metal in his hair. “Gimme one sec,” he hold up a finger whilst finishing melting something with something off screen before he faces the camera.

“I stand by what I said. Thor’s new place is a fish fest, it stinks. Stephen just doesn't understand it since he obviously has no sense of smell.” He pauses and rubs a hand down his face. “I mean honestly, it fucking stinks.”

The scene flips back to lunch. “My apologies, darling.” Tony mutters reluctantly but it seemed good enough for Stephen so the matter dropped.

A loud crash and a scream could be heard off scene, the camera and the Avengers having their attention pulled from lunch to see Harley and Peter ran out of the hallway and fall into one another in the kitchen.

“What was that?” Tony asked, protective dad mode engaged as he helped Harley off the floor, May helping Peter whilst checking for any bruising.

“What was what?”

“That crash? Your scream?” Steve put his hand on his hips, his face completely annoyed at their dodging of questions.

“It’s not life threatening.” Peter replied, wiping dust from his hair.

“It came from Harley’s room, what was it?” Tony began walking ahead, the camera, Steve and the two boys not far behind. “Friday, be a doll and pen Harley’s room.”

The door opened at the same time eter muttered: “You’re on your own,” and Tony screamed: “What the fuck!” Harley’s bedroom looked like a bomb had gone off, his clothes were everywhere, his comic books and maths book was somehow on the ceiling. His wardrobe was lying flat on the floor with the doors on either side of the room; broken off its hinges. 

“I can explain?” Harley weakly muttered and the screen froze and revealed Harley and Peter in the white room, shuffling and looking put out.

“So, Harley asked me to tidy his room. I thought it would be easy,” Peter glares at Harley who looks elsewhere. “This kid has got some serious cleaning issues. I thought I was bad but Jesus man, your room looks like a bombsite.”

“It’s not that bad.” A pregnant pause and the camera zoom out further to reveal Tony sitting beside Harley; his eyebrow raised and a smirk planted on his face. “Okay, it’s bad.”

“Worse than bad.”

The screen filters back to the bedroom where Peter is explaining what happened. “And basically, Harley asked me to lift up his wardrobe and he started shoving stuff under it and I lost my grip and almost crushed him. Almost! I saved him. It crashed we screamed. He started running so I chased him and well…” Peter shrugs and gestures to the messy room before knocking his hand against Tony’s. 

“I’m really sorry, Mr Stark.”

“Not your fault, kid. Harley,” at the call of his name, Harley spun on his foot and stared at Tony; accepting his fate. “Clean up this mess before I come back.” Tony pointed at both of the boys, Harley sulking whilst Peter looked like he was about to cry. “If it’s not done, no lab, no staying here. Kenner that means no Young Avengers, Parker that means no internship. Clear?”

“Yes.” The boys replied in unison, leaving behind a very Happy Tony and concerned Steve.

The camera scene changes to focus on Liv sitting beside the pool in a dark blue spaghetti strap dress, her feet in the pool. 

“Hey, stranger. What’s got you down in the blues?” Clint walks in with dark purple swim trunks on. He settles beside Liv, concern rolling off him in waves.

“My brother’s stuck in hospital. He got in an accident and well, I’m worried. It’s just brought back flashbacks to my daddy and baby sister.” Liv sniffled, wiping tears away before being wrapped up in a hug by Clint. “I can’t have him dying on me. I need him.” She’s quietly sobbing whilst burying her face in Clint’s bare shoulder. 

“You smell like Kinder Eggs.” They both chuckle before the air grown sober with emotion again. “It’s his birthday in three weeks. I don’t know if he’s going to be stuck in hospital for his birthday, I don’t want that for him. It’s not fair.” She signs before snuggling closer to Clint.

“Have you told Wanda? What has she got to say about all this?”

“She doesn't know. I can’t tell her, I’m scared.” 

The screen pauses and changes to Liv being in her bedroom, her hair tied back into a wet ponytail whilst her makeup runs down her face. “He punched me in the pool to cheer me up.”

The scene floats back to Liv and Clint sitting side by side where he, sure enough, pushed her in and jumps after her. 

The scene jumps to be showing Loki and Peter in the library whilst Shuri can be seen in the background. 

“She loves chocolate, oh and her fav flowers are forget me nots. She told me that one.” 

Shuri bounces over and settles beside Peter. “What we talking about?”

“Loki is trying to cheer up Liv since she seems sad but won’t tell us why so we thought about getting her something sweet.” Loki blushes at this before shoving Peter lightly.

“Spider-Boy speaks the truth. Something is wrong with Olivia and I’m worried.”

The screen pauses and shrinks to sit in the corner, revealing Loki sitting in the white room that Peter and Shuri had been in before. “I have some feelings, I’m not a monster.”

The scene flashes forward to where Loki, Peter and Shuri are each holding gifts. Peter with Forget me nots, Shuri with a large teddy-bear and Loki with three bars of Hershey's chocolate and Kinder Buenos. They each walk up to Liv who is sitting with Wanda.

“Ahem.” Liv turns to see the camera and the troublesome three before grabbing Wanda’s hand in a reassuring squeeze. “You looked sad earlier so Peter, Shuri and I decided to get you some pick me ups.” The trio hand Liv the small gifts before waving goodbye to escape the waterworks that sure enough started.

Wanda looked into Liv’s eyes with nothing but pure love and happiness before whispering: “Everything will be okay, my flower.”

The screen fades and reveals Liv sitting in her room with Wanda’s head in her lap. “So, thank you very much for watching this. As I said to Wanda earlier, this has been one hell of a day. I hope you enjoyed this, if you did give it a big thumbs up and hit the subscribe button and that notification bell so you know when new content it going up. Hope this was good enough for your taste. Adios from your fav crumpet.” Liv and Wanda hold up peace signs before the screen turns black and the video ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead,,,,,so sorry for not updating for a whole month,,,my mind has just been so out of it,,,,sorry folks


	10. Pain is not our issue, we are survivers, Vlog #199

"Hi, guys!" Liv's cheery voice seemed to had lost it's joy as the video opens up to her in an all black suit, her tie being the only splash of colour (a deep ocean blue). "It's Liv here with another video, obviously. This one today will be a little different from my usual ones, more serious in light of the Holocaust Remembrance Anniversary. My reason as to why should be obvious; after all it is only fair to celebrate who lived through the pain and remember those that died." She wiped away a tear before smiling again.

"We all know who Hitler was, yes? He rose to power in nineteen thirty-three and started his vision of perfect by killing off all those not deemed pure and German. He was one of the biggest problems the world had ever faced and, still till this day, we see people doing what he had done thinking that they were never doing any wrong. Now, I'm not a Jew. So for all of you at home thinking 'why the hell is she talking about something that never affected her'. But the thing is, my family descended from Roman Gypsies. It wasn't just Jews that were killed during the Holocaust. It was anyone that stood in Hitler's way of power!" She wiped again at her tears and there was an obvious time jump as Liv was now sat with Wanda by her side.

"Six million people were slaughtered, men and women. Children and babies! Six million killed without Mercy," Wanda took other as Liv walked off set, her swears bleeped out as she faded away.

"Sorry about that. So her video today will actually be taken over by me, Bucky and both the lovely May Parker and her trouble of a nephew." As Wanda said each name, they walked onto the set and smiled brightly at the camera.

Peter was wearing bright purple lipstick and had blue eyeshadow the colour of the morning sky decorating his face messily. "Sorry about how I look." May chuckled gently. "May and MJ got bored and decided to do a make over before Tony interrupted us." He turned to Wanda who was laughing silently. "Don't you laugh at my beauty. Just 'cause you cant look this great doesn't mean you can be jelly. Green isn't the best colour for you, Maximoff."

Another time jump to a clear faced Peter who was huddled next to Bucky and his aunt. Liv was also back with a hoodie that was obviously too big for her (Wanda's hoodie, quiet obviously with it's bright red colour). "My bad, my dudes. Anyway, I have asked FRIDAY to pick out some questions for us all to answer as we all have something that ties us to today. James was a Jew who fought in the war; well, half Jew. But no-one cares about that. M and P Parker are Jewish. Wanda was raised a Jew before she was, well. You get the picture. We all have relevance to today."

"All the hate comments, racist tweets, all the discrimination against any and all religions have been taken out. None of us feel any regret for who we are, or what we do with our lives. None of us will give you the time of day to hate on our race and religion, so don't bother trying to get us down." Wanda finished with a wicked smile as she grabbed a glass bowl with tiny paper slips in, handing one to everyone before putting off screen.

As soon as May opened hers, she cackled so loudly that Peter fell onto the floor. "MAY!!" He screamed, hitting his head against the tiles.

"I-I'm so sor-sorry, Pete. But this comment just mad-made me crack up laughing." She wheezed out, brushing away the hair that had fell into her face, helping her nephew off the floor before kissing his head better. Peter swatted her away with a faint pink blush.

"What was it, May?"

"This person asked how do you get a Jewish girls number," Bucky smiled slightly as he caught on to the joke, Peter still looked confused as ever. May looked dead into the camera before saying, "you must look at their wrists."

Peter walked off stage, the words: "I'm disowning you, Aunt May."

Wanda and Bucky were smiling wickedly as May and Liv wheezed out laughs, tears falling freely at their own expense. "I'm going to hell for actually laughing at this. But it's fine, I belong in hell." May started laughing harder, almost falling off her chair.

"This person asked: What foods can't Jews eat?" Wanda, being the first to calm down, answered first. "It's said that we shouldn't eat pork, bacon. Anything pig related, honestly I don't get why. But I can't eat it since I'm allergic. Liv still eats it but she isn't a Jew; seafood that has neither fins nor scales - foods like crabs, scallops or lobster. We have dietary laws called Kashrut."

"Someone asked: Is there more than one type of Jew?" Liv immediately answered, wasting no breath. "Jews are mainly split into three groups: born into a Jewish family, they can either follow or not. It's up to them. Those that have Jewish ancestors, and those that follow the religion without having any of the blood. That's what May is; Ben was Jewish and when she married in, she converted from being atheist to Jewish."

"When did Judaism start?" Bucky looked confused. "What do they mean? Like when did the religion become popular or when was it invented?"

"Just go with whatever you feel is right, I guess." Liv shrugged, deciding to ignore the fact that being Jewish was something people just claimed for popularity.

  
"Judaism began, like, four thousand something years."

"Where did it start?" May looked up towards the celing, wishing it would crush her. May looked like she was done with the world. Peter came skidding into the scene, his socks being the reason he could slide and crash into everyone.

"I can answer that for you, Liv." Peter shouted, obviously hyped up on sugar. "It started in the Middle East!"

"Peter? How much sugar have you eaten?" Liv chuckled, looking at the teen who resembled a puppy when they got told they could go for a walk.

"Three bags of those British candies you brought over. Those Coughing Candies; oh, and I took like seven Monsters. It's pure energy. I can see sound and hear colours!" Peters eyes were wide and wild.

The scene jumped completely and left Liv alone on the scene. "So, due to Peter being an idiot and having a sugar overload, we as a collective group thought it best to carry this Remembrance Anniversary on Twitter, Snapchat or Instagram. Send over your questions and as a group, we will answer them." She pointed to the bottom of the screen where her profile names popped up. "Like and subscribe for more content. Thanks for watching, peace out my tiny crumpets."


	11. CAUSE FRIDAY IS BLACK FOR ME

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay....first of all I'm sorry to the people who actually read this...I know I've been away for like a bjillion months
> 
> My Alexa broke,,,,I feel lonely without my weather updates... :(
> 
> I watched Black Friday for the fifth time today....I think I have an addiction

**PIgFARtS! @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

Hey! Starkid! I'm talking to you! Why did you have to do Ethan like that! My poor bean deserves better!

***faints because of a handshake* @Parker_Peter**

Yeah! Ethan is our prescious babe...#JUSTICEFORETHAN

**PIgFARtS! @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

you don't even watch Starkid! Fake fan!

***faints because of a handshake* @Parker_Peter**

I watch enough! 

**PIgFARtS! @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

NOT ENOUGH! PEASENT! 

* * *

**GARY GOLDSTEIN @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

there is no need to have any cops at pride this year,,,we have John Macnamera to protect us with his firearms

**Buttercup @mxloki**

nah,,,,we will have his firearms

* * *

**latte hotte @emma_deserves_better**

In this house,,,,we stan Gary Goldstein

**Duck Is Lord @buisnessCaLLs**

in this house hold, we pray to our one true lord....THE DUCK

**latte hotte @emma_deserves_better**

*QuACK* THE DUCK IS PLEASED!!!

* * *

**GARY GOLDSTEIN @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

hi, gary goldstein, attorney at law, i was a little further back in line

**mom_friend @steve_Rogers_CA**

But your name is Liv? I'm so confused.

**GARY GOLDSTEIN @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

I AM GARY FREAKING GOLDSTEIN! DEAL WITH IT BITCH

* * *

**Buttercup @mxloki**

Just realized that if Ethan, Lex, and Hannah all exist in the TGWDLM time line as well which is extremely likely then they likely all got infected. That or were killed. Imagine the Not Ethan scene but it’s an infected Ethan instead. Imagine an infected Lex and Ethan. Infected Hannah. Think of the implications. Now....ARE YoU FRiGHTenED

**GARY GOLDSTEIN @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

@Parker_Peter HOLD ME TIGHT MY SMOL BEAN

* * *

**Paul_Matthews @Emma**

“I’m Paul. I’m Emma’s boyfriend!”

**Emma_Perkins @Paul**

“Well, we haven’t put a label on it yet, so…”

**Paul_Matthews @Emma**

“But we are intimate!”

* * *

potatoes at the ready @H.Kenner

I truly love the Monsters and Men reprise because Lex has NO FUCKING IDEA what’s going on. Doesn’t know who he is, what PEIP is, about Hannah’s powers or her own, he just… points a gun in her face and tells her she’s part of PEIP. It’s incredible. 

**GARY GOLDSTEIN @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

YOU DIDN'T EVEN WATCH THE WHOLE THING!  
  
potatoes at the ready @H.Kenner

DID TOO!

**GARY GOLDSTEIN @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

FUCKING LIAR! IF YOU'RE SUCH A FAN...WHAT THE FUCK IS PEIP

potatoes at the ready @H.Kenner

Fuck YOU!

**GARY GOLDSTEIN @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

Fake FAN!

* * *

**In a FLASH @Flash_gotta_dash**

SHE'S BACK! HE'S BACK! THEY'RE ALL BACK!

what the hell is a hufflepuff @Scottie_Antman_Lang

Are you sure you're in the right headspace to receive this type of information....?

**In a FLASH @Flash_gotta_dash**

Please....DON'T DO THIS TO ME!

* * *

**GARY GOLDSTEIN @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

Can we just appreciate that we got to see not ONE but TWO villain songs from Lauren Lopaz!!!!

* * *

**hacker voice *im in* @Edward_Leeds**

“My name is General John McNamara of the United States Military. Special Unit P.E.I.P, we call it PEIP.”

“PEIP? I’ve never heard of you guys.”

“Oh, we’re a fairly small team…just me and a few of my peeps.”

**GARY GOLDSTEIN @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

Me and you are peeps now....sorry @Parker_Peter @mxloki

**JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! @mxloki**

No. Never apologise for doing the best thing in the universe....you made the right choice....better sleep with one eye open Leeds....I'm coming for her....

* * *

**GARY GOLDSTEIN @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

THAT BETTER BE FUCKING FLOSS!

**JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! @mxloki**

Gary Goldstein: *straight up killed a teenager*

Jon stans: yea but you’re missing one crucial detail. I love him.

**GARY GOLDSTEIN @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

THIN FUCKING ICE LOKI!!!! NED IS NOW MY PLATONIC SOUL MATE....LOKI YOU ARE THAT WEIRD UNCLE WE SEE AT FAMILY GATHERINS...ENJOY YOUR NEW RANK!

* * *

**JEFF! JEFF! JEFF! @mxloki**

I HOPE YOU DON'T GET A WIGGLE!

**potatoes at the ready @H.Kenner**

I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE!

**A dramatic little bitch @i_am_ironman**

You better be watching your language on here Kenner. I will set Pepper on you!

**potatoes at the ready @H.Kenner**

SCREW YOU OLD MAN

**A dramatic little bitch @i_am_ironman**

@VPP

**A dramatic little bitch @i_am_ironman**

You better run boy!

* * *

**In a FLASH @Flash_gotta_dash**

Mariah Rose Faith could kill me and I would die happy

***faints because of a handshake* @Parker_Peter**

But,,,Flash,,,that means you will be dead...LIKE FOREVER

**In a FLASH @Flash_gotta_dash**

Yeah, that's like the WHOLE point

* * *

**GARY GOLDSTEIN @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

OI! STARKID!

**GARY GOLDSTEIN @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

I want Working Boys, a new musical

**Bubbles @witchbitch**

And I want a musical about Kris Kringle

**GARY GOLDSTEIN @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

And we should get one about Lex, Ethan and Hannah Banana…if they existed in TGWDLM I want to see their story!

* * *

**Bubbles @witchbitch**

Babe, honey, love of my life, the sweet sugar in my piping hot tea... @i'm_a_lonely_b!tch

**GARY GOLDSTEIN @i’m_a_lonely_b!tch**

WHAT?

**Bubbles @witchbitch**

I want a Wiggly....please


End file.
